Most will rate themselves reasonably competent when it comes to their prowess between the sheets. At day’s end, we are creatures, animals if you will, and owe a large part of our behavior to how nature has programmed us to be. Thinking in terms of cave dwellers, we are built to ensure the continuation of our species, and in so doing, we ensure that there is a legacy left behind.
We find a mate and have a lot of sex with them in the early days, and then she becomes pregnant, and the sex dies down. By this time, we are tolerating her enough not to kill her, (said from a purely evolutionary standpoint) – a child is born, and we begin to focus on rearing the kid…The kid is sooo cute, but just another manifestation of what nature gets up to so that we don’t actually kill the kid in our caveman states…
My now, ex-wife was in the child-bearing and child-raising mode for about ten years (we had 3 in relatively quick succession). During this time, sex did not rate very highly on my radar. She was more interested in feeding times, and while I thought about sex, I somehow trained myself not to expect it. As a result of this, I did not feel like I needed to be attractive to the opposite sex, so I began to comfort feed and put on weight. The problem is that putting on weight is like placing a frog in a gradually boiling water pot. Unless shaken drastically, that ol frog ain’t making any changes and will continue to swell and eventually pop.
I had a drastic shake-up when I was suddenly alone and realised that I didn’t look or feel like the stud I had thought I was anymore. The stress of a poor relationship had sent my cortisol levels soaring, and that proved to be kryptonite for my libido. Throw in some overthinking, late into the night, and I was becoming sleep-deprived, which – reduced my testosterone production even further.
That was my story, and I know how less interest in sex managed to dilute my masculine energies. There are many guys and gals out there who find themselves in similar boats. To them, I want to say that the proper exercise and the right food can correct these physiological shortcomings.
You can fix this.
Fix your hormones and improve your life. The changes you make to your body will make you feel desirable again. Once you feel confident that you can walk into a room and look attractive, you’re on your way. It sounds basal, and it is!
We’ve all asked ourselves questions from the perspective of self-doubt… Am I good enough? Will I be able to satisfy this person in bed? Will I stay hard for long enough for her to have an orgasm? These are questions we won’t exactly be asking our friends at a bar, but rather, we ask those of ourselves in moments of self-doubt when we’re alone with ourselves. Throw in a measure of self-loathing, and you will understand that these questions have further-reaching effects. How you manage in bed will affect your self-confidence. Fractured self-confidence leaves you more fearful of failure in other aspects of your life. Confidence leads to more confidence. Success leads to more success. Great sex can spearhead a complete personal metamorphosis.
In the end, your success and happiness are linked to your confidence, and one of the strongest psychological determinant of confidence is – you guessed it… your physical and your sexual presence.
How to boost your sex drive
LOSE THE GUT
When you don’t feel attractive, this creates Stress and lowers your sex drive.
When learned helplessness kicks in, for having less sex, then you expect less of it. When you don’t feel sexy, then you may as well eat that food. This reduces the Testosterone in your body. More body fat means less Testosterone. Less Testosterone means more estrogen. When your estrogen levels are too high, you can literally kiss your sex life goodbye. Strangely enough, this also applies tot he ladies. They need some T cursing through them to still wanna…
LIFT HEAVY WEIGHTS
Lifting heavy will boost your testosterone levels as well as your GH levels by up to 50%.
So pumping iron will boost your libido. This applies to the ladies as well as the guys.
Inactivity will slow down your testosterone production and lower your libido.
Doctors thought that the urge to “get it on” was something that would begin to dwindle after 45. – Not so… The accumulation of poor sedentary and food choices are the culprits.
When you move in the gym… this vicious cycle ends, and you’re well on your way to producing those hormones again that will turn you into a sexual machine.
EAT MORE FAT
Fat plays a vital role in regulating your sex hormones. Having productive and fertile sperm depends on polyunsaturated fats in your body. These can be supplemented by eating salmon or trout and consuming fish oil. Your blood flow is improved with these fats, something you need when you’re getting hard.
Compare vegetarians, whose diets are lower in fat, and you will notice that they have less Testosterone in their systems.
Fats don’t make you fat or less fertile. – but you have to have the right fats. You have to avoid transient fats… These are the artificially produced fats that you find in doughnuts or in your MacDonald french fries. They are the reason that fat gets a bad rap.
EAT LESS SOY
The amount of Soy in a man’s diet has a direct correlation to erectile dysfunction. Soy has estrogenic effects and is acceptable for women, but men who want to be awesome in bed should avoid it. Check the food labels because Soy lurks in more places than you think. Soy is no joke
Drink less beer. Have the Pizza, eat the chicken wings, but please, people… drink less beer. It’s easy to grab a cold one out of the fridge, but beer, more than anything, will drop your testosterone levels in the long run. Beer is high in calories. It’s not called a beer gut for no reason. If you’re going to have a drink, stick to spirits or a glass of wine. Sure I’ll have a beer once in a while, but remember that the poison is in the dose.
USE THAT MORNING TENT
Most people wake up in stress mode and spend the day playing catch-up. Here’s a little trick that’s so simple. Wake up an hour earlier and use that tent pole that’s threatening to pierce through the sheets. When you train your brain to expect some good nookie in the morning, the endocrine domino effect this creates will raise your testosterone levels. This is still the most enjoyable way of giving your Testosterone a boost.
EAT LESS SUGAR
You’d be surprised at how much sugar is in a glass of lemonade. Sugar from fruit is ok, but you should not have too much of it. If you regularly binge on sugar drinks, candy, and the like, chances are you’re insulin resistant already. This isn’t good for sex because your blood flow is challenged. Your arteries don’t dilate as they should, and well, you get less blood to that hammer of yours… not a great situation. Think vasodilation – you want the blood to flow freely.
WATCH LESS PORN
Porn triggers a strong dopamine reaction in your body. This is good. Do too much of it, and you become desensitised. Either you go looking for wackier ways to get off, or you find yourself not being able to get aroused anymore, not to mention that you’d actually like to form some emotional bonds with your partner too. – challenging to do when your only way of getting aroused is through the porn you’ve gotten used to consuming. I’m not saying that you should not watch porn, but as always, the poison is in the dose. Find a high-quality production, watch it with your mate and see where things flow from there.
In closing, I would like to recommend that you not give in to your carnal desires completely. In other words, don’t be in a single-minded pursuit to get it on. You’re not a spring chicken anymore. It’s like enjoying great wine. If done from time to time and savored, it will definitely add to the quality of your life. If done too much, the experience has the potential to become addictive and we all know… addictions don’t serve you.
How about making a plan to getting it on with that special someone… Make a date out of it. Buy the flowers, plan the music, and yes, like Marvin Gay let’s “get it on”